could this be serenity

serenity can be derived by many different things.

it depends on what you seek for in life. i believe that in my case, i seek for nothing but the comfort of knowing what’s to happen instead of going through the unexpected, in the case of my body.

Godwilling i’ll be delivering soon enough. i’ve been bedresting. walking a lot, yet still quite seldom. i can’t say i wasn’t happy when i had to mend to things alone. i really was, but to put it simply- i was filled with worries.

my whole first and second trimester had been a roller coaster ride. of course, which mother-to-be ever has it easy? first, second, third, fourth, fifteenth child, they’ll all be tough, and that’s why mothers are called ‘mother’s.

i know of younger people who have gone through pregnancies, the ones my age and those who have quite aged- all, managed to pull things through, nonetheless.

then again, there’s our God factor. nothing comes into this world without His power.

i’ve had quite a smooth-sailing pregnancy when it comes to physical issues. morning sickness, preeclampsia, disgust towards a specific cooking/smell, can’t smell my husband’s scent – none of these.

i only had to go through nausea (one or two days in two to three weeks?), but that, was because i was never the breakfast type. back pains, but that should be pretty much a ‘wajib‘ thing for all pregnant ladies. the toughest i’d say, would have to be heartburn, but i brought that upon myself – always ate late at night or had spicy food for sahur during ramadhan before i jump back into bed :insert facepalm emoticon here: i’d occasionally have a mild case of swollen feet, usually when i overdo my walking, and last but not least, my baby would sometimes press onto one side, specifically on a nerve that causes prickling/stabbing pain throughout my whole right leg (qeue limping leg scene as baby presses on nerve).

otherwise, alhamdulillah, He definitely spared me from anything major throughout the first two trimesters.

the culprit that behaved more of like a tsunami during the pregnancy has been basically, my hormones.

good lord, i swear i have never been as sensitive and emotionally affected by the littlest things, before this. i mean. all my life i’ve always been the cool type! or maybe i claim to be so.. but now it’s pretty obvious that this pregnancy really triggers my emotions. it’s like an outburst of emotions i myself had never discovered for the whole 23 years of breathing the air in this world.

so as i reach this final few weeks of my pregnancy, i could say that i feel pretty content with whatever that’s happened, and with the state that i’m in right now. i just hope this contentment would drag on until labour day, just so that baby doesn’t have to feel any more of mama’s depressing hormones until he (Godwilling) comes out, safely.

hoping to still be able to write a bit more before i give birth (and start forgetting things). as i pray for the general safety and happiness of all y’all beings in the world, i hope that you please, pray for my baby too.

till then, toodles.

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